after my first article titled "i wanna date a stud" was written, it got a lot of positive responses; and i must say, it was the most read article of all the article and poems i have ever written. some said it liberated them, and of course there were those that challenged me and the issues i raised in the article, but all in all those were positive responses and i loved the conversations the article sparked. the conversations led to a whole lot of other things i still want to write about like the values of the LGBTI community vs Personal values (where does one draw the line? To what extent do all these matter and what do they really mean?) and the history of the LGBTI, the labels especially the butch ones. i also want to explore why the quest for queerness is such an endless journey. but of course these are topics for another day.
in my article "i wanna date a stud", i said when i do find that butch sexy lover of mine i will write endless stories about us and let the world know how much of a blessing our relationship is and just to point out that it is as normal as any other relationship. so i am dating a stud and this is a a commitment and friendship article to her.
when i first met her my heart couldn't submarine, i swear it felt like it just had roaring lions only screaming her name and right there i knew that i want to create lifetime memories with her. the kind that would be imprinted on my soul like paws of lions on a desert with the softest sand ever found on earth. its kind of a liberating feeling knowing for sure with no doubt that you just want to loose yourself and love like you have never loved before. that you just want to hold that one person's hand in public and through thick and thin, darkness and light, sunrise and sunset, when all you want to do is proclaim to the universe as a whole that you just want to love and you want to love that one person right like rain upon blossoming flowers (that natural).
when i first looked into her eyes, i glowed. words could not escape my throat so without a word i embraced her, i drawed her closer to me, put her on my bosom as close as anyone can ever be to me. infact i wanted to open my heart and just tuck her there under its contours then she would know it bears no lies. when words finally escaped me i said: "i shall never let you go."
over the months that i have known her she has become a big part of me. she has become my best friend and we are committed to each other. when thunderstorms declare to tear us apart i will hold her oh so dear and say that this is just the beginning of rainbow magic for us, that this is the beginning of clear horizons filled with singing birds and birth of new stars in our endless universe. all i want to do is just to love her right. when i can't talk and i just want to shut the rest of the world out, i want her to be the only person i can let in with no fear and doubt. you see, i just want to love this soul like a friendship that began in kindergarten. this is the type where we laugh at each others bad jokes that are not really funny but because we are the only ones who get them. this is the type where we walk around the pavements of Jozi streets chewing ice cream cones like little kids, go to bed with each other on that single bed that i own wearing the Smurfs and Spongebob pyjamas (im totally buying her those for her birthday :-) ).
i am stud and i am dating one too. she is my friend because she is the only one that gets me right, loves me rights, and of course sexs me right. :-) at times we would get silly and greet each other with that "sho boi" tip and put our shoulders against one another. i love this because i know still that this is a woman that has a heart that silently sings love songs and recite love poems about me and the journeys we are still yet to walk together. when life weighs hard on our shoulders and we feel our knees on our physical bodies can not carry us any more; our spirits meet in silent places where love began, where Angels drafted down our names connecting them to forevers and evers and evers. we do meet in those silent places and the spiritual winds blow us towards each other and glew us to new beginnings and everything feels so refreshing.
i am dating a stud, i am still constantly, everyday learning to let her in. i am ready to let her be the one to hold my heart with her bear hands that breath fire to purify the pain and hurts of all the past relationships that never worked out with any other women. i am willing to let her touch all the wounds with her bare hands because i have entrusted her with my heart to stitch it back together with her gentle kisses and warm embraces.
i am willing to let her in and let her see the tears that i have always cried in the dark before her, i know she has the ability to wipe them away turning the salty bitter taste to sweet taste of joy.
i am saying this again, all i want to do is love her right and keep our relationship sacred. i do believe that she came just at the right time. no one can love me more than she does and yes, my heart still feel like the first time i laid eyes on her. it still burns with passion and desire and roars.
last but not least, who ever game you information about studs im sure they have never encountered one. there is a rumour that can never be true that 'butches' do not want to be touched in any sexual manner, they like to dominate and be the givers never the receivers. (which butches have you been dating gal!) hence butch to butch relationships are always frowned upon because people *femmes especially* think butch to butch and be like, "sooo, how do you guys have sex, who dominates who?" i always smile and think to myself "oooh you of little knowledge and understanding". all i know is that when i am in a room with my stud love, the climate changes we turn it up to another level of climaxes. we go all the way around each others bodies in all the corners of the house. as soon as those boxer shots are off we just feast on each other and fill our souls. we touch, grab, squeeze, lick, clit on clit......
ok. before i give too much information about my bedroom i want to say this. i am dating a stud, and yes i am one too and its the best of all the relationships i have ever heard. we are going for two years together now. who knows, the next time i tell our story i will be saying "i married a stud. Suits And All."
i have not seen anything different with my relationship from those of Butch to femme relationships. those ones are usually just to buy face and portray some image that was historically created by a heterosexual community .*I SAID IT LOUD*
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