what this is all about

so. as a 27, well almost 28 lesbian woman in South Africa i have observed a lot, where the queer community and lesbians are concerned. being a lesbian in johannesburg is either treated like a political struggle or a glitz and glamour kind of shine. you get those lesbians that are die hard activists and they really believe in their sexuality and they wanna fight at all cost. these are the lesbians that you would find at the front line of marches and mass meetings, they wear their lesbian label like a crown. they would most probably shout "viva comrade and Amandla!" to any lesbian they see. on a serious note though. these are your intelligent lesbians most of the time. they take their time and effort in engaging in activities that can build the queer community and ensures that Aluta Continua. in all honesty, we do these these kinds of lesbians, though i think at times they dramatize and politicise homosexuality a lot. 

then of course you get those ones that are party orientated. no offence to these lesbians but their achievement in life is being known for being at every lesbian picnic and pride after party. see; these one, they never march, they are the type that always get to prides after the march with bottles of whiskey, tons of beer and new clothes and shades. the shades are never left behind. they don't carry backpacks full of dreams but weed. its fashionable to smoke weed after all. then they stand there like they are God's gift to women and want every thing that has boobs that passes their way. they either have dreadlocks or mohawks most of the time and ohh, they wear bow ties. you will never have an intellectual conversation with these lesbians, they either think they know too much (which they usually don't) or they would just cause drama on you for no reason. these lesbians are good at putting emphasis on labels. me, myself i do not even know how many labels are there for lesbians. you get your butches, futches, toms, femmes, and a whole lot more. 

i am that kind of lesbian that they would label butch at first glance because i wear chinos and shirts all the time so the ''Butches"would most likely greet me with a "sho mfethu, holla Boi, Mnchana ugrand". in these situations hugs are never extended. then the femmes would hit on me because i am more likely to be into femmes because of the way i "dress". see, judgements are never based on anything other than clothing, this is what i have observed. before you argue with me, yes its tried and tested, with a change in clothing items the lesbian community will treat you differently. i have been more interested in observing butch lesbians though. (but, this is a later topic). 

i am one of those fluid lesbians to be honest. i believe my sexuality does not depend on my clothes, or my role for that matter. i get asked a lot if i am butch or femme. i always feel like shooting myself though before answering. but i say; " i love women. thats what im certain about." i am that inquisitive lesbian, i like to ask about things. i question a lot of lesbians about why they do the things they do or speak the thing that they do.  most of them never have answers or if they do it would be a very stupid answer *forgive my language*. they think they know but they don''t. i asked one butch why she dates femmes, she said : "aah mchana ke butch nna so i have to date femmes." i asked her if another butch is less of a woman and if she just wants to abide to heterosexual norms, she said : "ay mchan, i was never straight so i cant date another man. thats just how its supposed to be, a butch dates a femme, imagine me dating you" (you can just imagine my facial expression at this point.) whats funny is that i sold another butch lesbian who would also have considered me butch if i was wearing my chinos an image of a lady in a skirt and she fell for the image and the lady in it. see, she had vowed that her being with a butch is against her ethical book of rules (a whole article on this is available). i have  been able to mess with these people's way of thinking, and it proved that they don''t think much *most of them*. they do things because their friends do them or its their sick idea of "right".

this blog is about all the voices i have encountered. the different voices of lesbian woman in South Africa. i want you to walk in my shoes and observe what i observe everyday. i want you to hear what i hear everyday. most of the things i will write about here are not my own experiences or feelings. i choose to embrace the label of a butch lesbian because i have been labeled such and i am most interested in butch lesbians and especially Butch to butch kind of relationships. i want you to walk a mile in the shoes of a proud South African Butch Lesbian who loves other butches. tap into her soul. i want to be loud about things that people fear to talk about. or things that they think they know about when they don''t really: relationships, love, sex, affairs, roles,labels. so what if we talk about it! i am also hoping to get different writers to contribute their work. it could be poems, monologues, articles etc. this way we will get to know the current state of homosexuality in South Africa in 2014. the aim is to change minds and people's way of thinking. pave a way forward through word and debate. then maybe we will get to the roots of the rainbow as a whole through the mouth piece of this Loud SA Butch Lesbian.