If True Love Existed

I wish I was still about 10 years old.

Pushing wire cars, mud cows, climbing cliffs

And trees, throwing stones in a dam with still

Waters, heading cows home at sunset,

Playing house with siblings and singing wedding songs,

Because back then, everything seemed perfect

From the top of the mountain where I stood

Counting wishes, counting years, wanting to

Be old so I can have kids of my own, go to

Work, and yes, wear a white wedding gown,

Going down the aisle in a church full of people.

I believed in love once.

I'm furiously pushing this pen,

Pushing tears away from my eyes,

Furiously forging these words,

Forcing my heart beat to slow down so

My heart don’t escape me.

My eyes are cloudy from tears I've cried,

Can’t see stars in anyone’s eye; especially yours.

I push words you’ve told me out of my ears.

“you, loud, shut up, I don’t wanna hear it.”

I been tryna tap into my soul just to find

One place in the corners of my inner self that

Hasn't been slayed, so I can just sit there, and

maybe find what I once believed in.

believe that maybe Princess charming exists.

if true love existed, I wouldn't even question it.

If true love existed, we’d be singing songs of love

Salvation to each other now and this poem would have

Never came to existence.

If true love existed. She would be true.

I would be true.

We would be truth, and we would be enough

For one another.

But it doesn’t.

Cupid never existed,

And fate

failed