Untitled Prose

Dare not stop your heart from beating.

I never meant to make it pump fury and bleed fire.

Never meant to juggle your feelings like marbles in the

Palm of my skilled hands, and pop them like dices on

Dusty streets of Soweto.

Forgive me for the plan was never to play with your love,

I’m still of human nature could never find humour in such.

The plan,

The plan was to love you from the beginning, pour out my love

To your soul only, because my heart really roared for you.

How I wish as the sun rises tomorrow, I could, with these bare

Hands that were meant to bring you joy wipe away the tears

That flow from your eyes and the fear of the future that sparkles

From them. (but somehow I can’t)

You were never a bet, so you could have never been just a game for me.

I know word on the streets state that I’m an all-time player.

You think I’m whole?

You think thoughts of you don’t cross my mind every day?

Forgive me for messing with your head. I never meant to keep

You guessing, God knows I also tried.

Forgive me for scribbling with your emotions,

Dare not throw stones for I loved you the best way I knew how.

Emotions are never feebleness, forgive me for allowing

You to reason like that.

See, my love was never of falsehoods. Loving you at some

Point revolved to be the only choice I had, the only thing

I woke up to, like breathing it was part of me.

But…

Often it felt I was never enough to mend your broken soul

And shadow fears that were engraved in you even before I came along.

You looked at me with eyes full of doubt and fear from day one.

You left an openly un-attended door, with a watchful eye waited

For me to make my way out.

You would never try to hold me, pull me close to where your heart thumps,

Let me feel the rush of blood that flows in your veins

And let me love you like I had intended to.

You gave up on us before we even began.

My knees weakened as I felt the pressure of standing for the both of us.

Still, girl, I loved you with all of me.

Forgive me for confirming your beliefs about love and friendship.

Forgive me for breaking your trust.

Forgive me for leading you to wrong paths.

Forgive me, for a woman with a heart is a woman with everything.

Possess this.

I still would have loved every broken piece of you L